Embracing Errors

My father and teacher, Rabbi Wolfe Kelman, z"l, often repeated the following tale at our Shabbat table: A wealthy Jewish family sought an appropriate mate for the daughter, a young scholar whom they would support as long as he studied Torah. A match was made with the town's outstanding student, but he had a fault: he was a devotee of a Hassidic rebbe, and the girl's relatives were mitnagdim - Hassidism's opponents. His custom was to spend much time with the rebbe, absorbing his spirituality, and the bride's family demanded he break all ties, studying only with their local rabbi. The student was poor, and though hesitant, he felt compelled to accept. They wed - he studied. But as time passed, his longing for the melodies, the prayers and the spiritual ecstasy of his rebbe grew. He tried to resist, but failed, until one midnight he fled from his new home. They found him on the morrow with the rebbe, and his father in law threw him out. He had nowhere to turn or go in his shame. He died of a broken heart.

At this point my father would turn to us and add: When the Messiah comes, he will gather the father in law, the rabbi-teacher and the student, asking to hear each one's version. The father in law will explain that a clear contract was broken, and the teacher will say he taught to the best of his ability. The student will sit sad and quiet. The messiah will tell the father in law, "Correct - an agreement must be binding." He will the tell the teacher, "You did your job, so you are blameless." After that the messiah will approach the student, embrace him and say, "And I have come to this world for those who err."

Identifying With the Weak

My father told this and similar stories in an era of marked social change. It was the time of the civil rights struggles of Afro-Americans, and later, the years of struggle for sexual equality. He found himself identifying with the underdogs, causes with which he identified particularly in their unpopularity. He left a Federation convention to join students demonstrating against the establishment for more support for Jewish education. When, in the mid-seventies, women demonstrated against the Rabbinical Assembly (of which he was executive director!) for equality in ritual roles, he again joined them. A rabbinate attentive only to the establishment is not worthy of its title. A rabbi must hear the voices that are not otherwise heard.

Who today are they who "err?" Who are the underdogs, presenting alternatives, protesting wrongs? It is all those who fight mightily against despair; men and women who still believe that one can make this world a better place, that we must seek peace, equality, tolerance and co-existence They are those ready to tear down walls and build bridges, those who believe that our basic belief and mission as a nation is to sow seeds of hope. These are the ones who "err".

It is our task - men and women rabbis - to discover these people, to empower them. We must create welcoming congregations, varied and open. We must heed the personal and spiritual needs of our students. We must clarify that in these rabbinic endeavors one finds a safe haven. We must find each where he or she is, not judging and not preaching, but providing the tools which will allow them to create a new life path, a path which is Jewish, Israeli, liberal and religious. We must keep in mind and heart the power of Hebrew and Jewish creativity, to create deep bonds to our traditional sources. These sources and life cycle ceremonies must speak personally to all who seek them. Our morning prayer praises "the One who out of beneficence recreates the world each day." This is not only theology - it is also a demand of faith.

My father's story also bore a tactical lesson, a lesson and a warning. One may not, on the road to justice, run over anyone, he would say. Do not worry only about those who are your allies. You must also get to know and understand those who disagree with you. This was a lesson we learned not only through stories, but also through life. Joining us for Shabbat meals were unknown and sometimes strange faces, Jewish and non, Jews of all kinds and ideologies. This was still possible then. The love of the Jewish people and the love of humanity co-existed in the New York home of my youth. They were the touchstones of a Jewish life. Today, in Jerusalem, in a time that seems dark and fearful, the past takes on the air of a fantasy. Today each camp builds ever higher walls. They do not reach out, whether the split be left-right, religious-secular or rich-poor. There is so little understanding, so little compassion.

The Individual and the Rabbinic Establishment

I feel I must relate to the established Rabbinate in Israel. To my dismay, the Orthodox rabbinic establishment is dealing with questions of no concern to most of the community. This frozen establishment has no ability to work for laws that befit our times. It fights a useless battle against equality, pluralism and progress instead of seeking solutions for women left un-marriageable, fair divorce proceedings, egalitarian wedding ceremonies, conversion reflecting the future converts' lives as opposed to ultra-Orthodoxy, etc. Saddest and most offensive of all, the Rabbinate is totally silent in the face of essential ethical problems - family violence, abuse of foreign workers, the growing social economic gap. Even when voices are heard (and they are welcome) we do not find the rabbis volunteering in soup kitchens, or in shelters for beaten women or in the threatened olive groves of Palestinians.

Where is that prophetic voice that always cried out against injustice? Where is the self critical attitude that is the hallmark of the Talmudic rabbis? How could the establishment be "forgiving" of rabbis who suggest burying Reform Jewish women in the tallitot that they wear? Why is there no crystal clear condemnation of rabbis who "allow" taking a non-Jew's property? Why do they not condemn the voices in the religious press who claim that Reform leadership deserves stoning for breaking the Sabbath? Where are the voices that are supposed to "bring peace between fellow human beings?" As opposed to today's ossified rabbinate, we need an ethical evolutionary rabbinate, in the spirit of Amos and Jeremiah. As opposed to this off-putting, condescending rabbinate we need an open, attentive and tolerant rabbinate, in the spirit of Hillel.

Today there are many good people working for others with no reference to a Divine imperative. Their consciences lead them to mend and heal. The theological element is absent. To my sorrow, it has been kidnapped and now wears political and establishment garb. It is for that reason that many have abandoned looking for God in their lives. We need a rabbinate that will promote the longing for God, one that allows us to feel that "the whole earth is filled with God's glory." We need a rabbinate that reminds us daily that every human being is created in God's image.

To my delight, there are women, past and present, who are models for us. In the middle ages, Rashbam, expanding on a Talmudic requirement that women observe certain holidays, writes: "The essence of the miracle was performed by women - by Esther on Purim, by Judith on Hanukkah and by the righteous women who allowed for the exodus from Egypt, on Pesach." And who were the latter? Other sources point either to the midwives in Egypt, or to Jewish women who did not give up hope, going out to the fields to raise the morale of the Jewish slave workers.

These women shared the quality of refusing to accept a bitter fate. The midwives rebelled at Pharaoh's command, working behind his back. Esther would not cave in to Haman's plot, and the righteous Jewish women refused to accept Pharaoh's intentions. Thus they changed the face of history. We can change the reality if we trust that we have the power to do so.

Today, particularly in North America, women rabbis are changing reality. Creativity abounds in writing, research, the creations of prayer and ceremonies that are enriching the Jewish tradition substantially. This is a fascinating development, expanding and changing the rabbinic role. A woman rabbi? For many Jews, this is seen as an error. But as we know, the Messiah will come in appreciation of those who err.

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